Settle baby, you are not the sun.

tiny vessels.

2007-11-04T07:33:07Z

i think this is the prettiest song ever written. I wish I could write like this.
This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her, but you don't
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me

I spent two weeks in Silver Lake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that I was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite I gave you left a mark

As tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did I that day

All I see are dark gray clouds
In the distance, moving closer with every hour
So when you'd ask, "Is something wrong?"
I'd think, "You're damn right there is
But we can't talk about it now
No, we can't talk about it now"

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

kisschasy in 5 days, I can't wait.

~~clareelizabeth~~

opinions won't keep you warm at night.

2007-05-07T09:57:54Z

killer few weeks coming up.
harry's starting tomorrow so that should provide some mild excitement. Alex's in the afternoon and then going to watch the guys play rugby.
Zara's party saturday night, me, criss and alex are going to pwn everyones faces off.
The amity affliction hometown show sunday night FINALLY.
SQUEE kisschasy gallery album launch next thursday, i missed those boys.
show holiday next friday get to see my stephie. i miss her like crazy.
nat's bday the saturday.

i miss insomniac holidays. the cafeine runs through my veins and my eyes are more bloodshot than normal.

can't you see you're being weak?
It's shallow and dark you know every time you speak
You're just lying through your teeth

~~clare-ical error~~

what do you do when your life's a disaster, and it's moving faster.

2007-03-24T13:16:25Z

I've realised I only update this when I feel like shit.
purge, purge, purge.
Everything I write is cliche'd and overwrought with self-doubt so I resort to blatant plagiarism and envy.
you and I and everyone we know...
alliteration is weak.
You can't decipher reflections from reality but neither can I.
~~c tothe l tothe a tothe r tothe e~~

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.

2007-03-02T07:18:49Z

stupid rhymes from teenage minds that attempt to convey the truth in darkness.
Birthday came and went, another year gone.
I can't be fucked growing up.
I used to be such a burning examplem I used to be so original.
~~clare is alive~~

you're dead to me so why can't i let you go.

2007-01-08T02:32:07Z

four dead in two days.
things like that should make me appreciate my life more but they don't.
Cancer is a terrible disease, no one should ever have to see it let alone experience it.
I feel for their families.
Eight messages from "friends" wanting to know whether I'm still alive.
I couldn't even answer that question.
Though I breathe, nothing seems remotely real anymore.
This town is slowly killing me and I need to get out.
I thought about you tonight, I’m glad that you’re alive
And even in these uncertain times, you’ll make it through the night

every action in this world will bear a consequence

2006-12-04T10:02:05Z

i realised today what i've known for a while.
i love him and i think maybe he loves me just a little.
i have this terrible feeling everything will fall apart next year.
stephie doesn't realise she's the glue that holds us together.
But we all know it.
These friendships that have been around for close to ten years are getting worn and frayed at the edges as demonstrated today.
if you wait around for ever you will surely drown
xoc

clareexchaos @ 2006-11-22T18:45:00

2006-11-22T08:45:25Z

i can't decide who i am.
these thoughts run round and round my head and i'm dizzy from deciding.
i'm lost and i don't know where to go next.
the other side of never...
xoc.

i'm sure by now you have found a way out of this town...

2006-11-08T07:00:39Z

i am so sick of every single one of my "friends" not being able to hold a normal conversation.
grow the fuck up already, i have.
i wish i hadn't though.
xoc

we all wanna be big, big stars.

2006-10-21T05:44:26Z

another lonely day for another sleepless night.
smile for the camera baby they all love you.
youraliar.
clare

if you don't ever want to see me again, i would understand.

2006-10-14T08:15:02Z

you're holiding me with store bought sympathy while thoughts of her run through your head. Love is friendship on fire baby, and at this rate we'll be ashes in no time. we're drinking ourselves into a stupor with supposedly hidden parents vodka so we might forget about this. There's no rose petals or soft lights or whispered i love yous just silence and sweaty sheets and morning after regrets. This is something i never would have imagined between us. You and me both know that after this it will never be the same again. I miss my childhood. x.o.c.

lets get these teen hearts beating faster, faster.

2006-10-05T06:43:49Z

night of nights for all but them . Sweaty bodies that sway to flashing lights. The bass drum echoes beatings of teenage hearts, all of them beating for you. Inhibitions lose themselves in the music and the scenest boys hug tiny fangirls. My mind works like clockwork to figure out that they play their act like clockwork. Every move is calculated to make the crowd scream and clap. I love you says the central clown but i love my band more. The cheer goes up as they play the hit single and 12 year olds throw bras on the stage. The real fans wait around for hours outside to see their long time heroes but the band drives straight by not a single one bothered to wave. A hundred hearts break as one to see their idols so corrupted by fame. Tears are forming in corners of the eyes of the emotion filled generation. A lesson has been learned tonight and as the crowd disperses to rule these dark streets I lose faith in everything i believed.
x.o.c.

clareexchaos @ 2006-08-19T14:26:00

2006-08-19T04:28:35Z

hi. this is my first entry i'm kind of just testing. =) show me some love.
x clare